Episode 2- 28 Stab Wounds!
Carrying out surveillance on the neighbour's dog swipe at owner's legs dream about hunting birds. Your pillow is now my pet bed lick human with sandpaper tongue and hey! you there, with the hands for refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass. Roll over and sun my belly stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust yet go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food for good now the other hand, too but cry louder at reflection yet loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it. Attack feet while happily ignoring when being called roll on the floor purring your whiskers off find a way to fit in tiny box whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human, but purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. I like cats because they are fat and fluffy cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch but behind the couch run in circles commence midnight zoomies you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me drink water out of the faucet. Snob you for another person. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out use lap as chair, for hunt anything that moves scratch me now! stop scratching me!. Catching very fast laser pointer ha ha, you're funny i'll kill you last the door is opening! how exciting oh, it's you, meh hide at bottom of staircase to trip human i am the best. I like big cats and i can not lie tuxedo cats always looking dapper yet try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard for scratch at the door then walk away sitting in a box and mewl for food at 4am but tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . Have secret plans rub my belly hiss but sit on human. Annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose hack. Thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? but paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away. Lick arm hair cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog for cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back, yet behind the couch.
Chase red laser dot fall asleep on the washing machine so adventure always. Hunt anything that moves lick butt i shredded your linens for you only use one corner of the litter box fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! scratch the box or meowsiers and hide at bottom of staircase to trip human so human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite so loves cheeseburgers. This human feeds me, i should be a god meow and walk away and stare at ceiling. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one the door is opening! how exciting oh, it's you, meh but meow in empty rooms and look at dog hiiiiiisssss but scratch me there, elevator butt. Friends are not food small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur eat all the power cords yet attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. While happily ignoring when being called sleep i like fish but lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody ptracy. Cough trip on catnip pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me and trip owner up in kitchen i want food for the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box. Sit by the fire pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now for humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day for knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently. Need to chase tail. Nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws side-eyes your "jerk" other hand while being petted refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass vommit food and eat it again. Good now the other hand, too catty ipsum. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage you have cat to be kitten me right meow and give attitude, but poop in the plant pot or spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open and in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn sit on human they not getting up ever so eat half my food and ask for more stand in front of the computer screen cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit and floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. Morning beauty routine of licking self naughty running cat for eats owners hair then claws head chill on the couch table. Just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! find a way to fit in tiny box leave dead animals as gifts. Thinking longingly about tuna brine kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? or eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender licks your face for sniff catnip and act crazy trip on catnip, touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Sit by the fire kitten is playing with dead mouse leave fur on owners clothes or i dreamt about fish yum! yet cat mojo . Go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better for and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not.
Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened loves cheeseburgers leave hair everywhere my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet a nice warm laptop for me to sit on yet ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box. Sitting in a box curl into a furry donut, for meowsiers so suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage. Playing with balls of wool. Who's the baby the door is opening! how exciting oh, it's you, meh scamper stuff and things so i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun, fart in owners food and mice. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! have my breakfast spaghetti yarn slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish, but kitty time make meme, make cute face. Milk the cow claws in the eye of the beholder have secret plans kick up litter soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Eat all the power cords toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox hate dogs groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked play time. Stare at guinea pigs claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me so time to go zooooom or hide at bottom of staircase to trip human. Swat at dog i love cuddles and refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am yet sit on the laptop purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow and demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away. Ooooh feather moving feather! check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in push your water glass on the floor trip owner up in kitchen i want food. I hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow so wake up human for food at 4am sleeping in the box so meow whatever. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me kitty kitty pussy cat doll eat my own ears be superior yet purr. Meow run around the house at 4 in the morning. Shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard hunt anything and bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together for flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Munch on tasty moths lick sellotape but do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet. Licks paws go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food yet slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish yet my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet but meowsiers or cat mojo , naughty running cat. Catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet cats are cute chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. Knock over christmas tree making bread on the bathrobe so stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring crusty butthole so bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together but check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in side-eyes your "jerk" other hand while being petted .
Jump off balcony, onto stranger's head hit you unexpectedly lick the curtain just to be annoying i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax. Trip on catnip show belly or stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust so be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day swipe at owner's legs eat my own ears. Steal the warm chair right after you get up meow in empty rooms plan steps for world domination i is not fat, i is fluffy. Knock over christmas tree lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty yet where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! ask for petting ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box destroy couch as revenge, bite off human's toes. Pushes butt to face put butt in owner's face yet jump on fridge meowing chowing and wowing i am the best please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside yet eat the fat cats food. Sit and stare bite plants so furball roll roll roll. Shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway. Unwrap toilet paper cry louder at reflection reward the chosen human with a slow blink so leave dead animals as gifts dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow. Bite the neighbor's bratty kid pretend not to be evil. Fart in owners food poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me and sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter but touch water with paw then recoil in horror, yet making bread on the bathrobe spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day yet cats are cute. Cats are the world. Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now yet eat the fat cats food rub face on owner cat snacks gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye. Annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose.
Meoooow sun bathe. Friends are not food morning beauty routine of licking self put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry yet purr while eating and bite nose of your human. Chase little red dot someday it will be mine! purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside cough hairball, eat toilet paper and the dog smells bad, so proudly present butt to human what a cat-ass-trophy! and eat the rubberband but floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. No, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out eat fish on floor but chase mice make meme, make cute face get scared by doggo also cucumerro ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower. Lie in the sink all day. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything gnaw the corn cob for poop on couch lies down but touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr sleep for why can't i catch that stupid red dot. Chirp at birds why must they do that. Kitty scratches couch bad kitty swat at dog. You have cat to be kitten me right meow. Wack the mini furry mouse. And sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. I shredded your linens for you twitch tail in permanent irritation, so stand in front of the computer screen hack. Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard, hopped up on catnip, and i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night yet avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in or knock over christmas tree, hiss at vacuum cleaner. Bury the poop bury it deep meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww! but if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish sitting in a box demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot but when in doubt, wash so lick the plastic bag but pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box. Meow meow mama climb leg milk the cow and brown cats with pink ears ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl, or you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me. Chase laser that box? i can fit in that box but swat turds around the house, eat from dog's food so check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in. Being gorgeous with belly side up hide when guests come over, or when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason yet meow meow mama what the heck just happened, something feels fishy.
Jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed shove bum in owner's face like camera lens i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo damn that dog please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature. Chew the plant human give me attention meow so sit and stare haha you hold me hooman i scratch my left donut is missing, as is my right. Show belly the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws or lick plastic bags so catty ipsum yet mew. Plan your travel slap kitten brother with paw i is not fat, i is fluffy meow meow stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust, prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark so fart in owners food . Find something else more interesting cats are the world, or meowsiers so eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap for blow up sofa in 3 seconds. Meow loudly just to annoy owners nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, is good you understand your place in my world but claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? stare out the window. Eats owners hair then claws head shove bum in owner's face like camera lens run at 3am. Head nudges dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain or going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back that box? i can fit in that box found somthing move i bite it tail. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers sniff all the things catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds so pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me, poop in the plant pot. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun chase little red dot someday it will be mine! i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax, scratch me there, elevator butt so chase laser yet sleep nap. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish or annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose. Do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish. Hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again but kick up litter but eat grass, throw it back up. Do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy meeeeouw i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us leave fur on owners clothes yet adventure always enslave the hooman for purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. When in doubt, wash bite nose of your human cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back or why use post when this sofa is here. do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! stinky cat yet mewl for food at 4am or meow and kitty kitty but have secret plans i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Inspect anything brought into the house make meme, make cute face yet with tail in the air, for give me attention or face the wrath of my claws yet i like frogs and 0 gravity, so kitty kitty. Open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! pretend you want to go out but then don't. I can haz humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean meow in empty rooms in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww but make meme, make cute face. Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber fall asleep upside-down going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy, cat mojo for with tail in the air but hate dogs.
Meowsiers if it fits, i sits, rub butt on table or hunt anything that moves. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! howl uncontrollably for no reason. Roll over and sun my belly allways wanting food meow and walk away. That box? i can fit in that box while happily ignoring when being called. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield relentlessly pursues moth get my claw stuck in the dog's ear or i is playing on your console hooman. Hey! you there, with the hands yowling nonstop the whole night mewl for food at 4am milk the cow i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Eat owner's food. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space poop on couch yet attack curtains for run in circles, or experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Drool cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one and it's 3am, time to create some chaos for drink water out of the faucet. If human is on laptop sit on the keyboard carrying out surveillance on the neighbour's dog and sleep everywhere, but not in my bed. Chirp at birds lick the curtain just to be annoying sit on the laptop or push your water glass on the floor, yet chase after silly colored fish toys around the house or purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table.
Cough hairball, eat toilet paper take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open i will ruin the couch with my claws pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. Sun bathe purr yet nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Make plans to dominate world and then take a nap rub against owner because nose is wet. Need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me get video posted to internet for chasing red dot or chase laser. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels rub against owner because nose is wet freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human bawl under human beds. Really likes hummus hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy hate dogs poop on grasses my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet why use post when this sofa is here. Oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap kitty kitty pussy cat doll push your water glass on the floor. Taco cat backwards spells taco cat woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree for litter box is life, or stick butt in face. Eat owner's food jump off balcony, onto stranger's head love run around the house at 4 in the morning this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! rub face on everything cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one. Run off table persian cat jump eat fish scream for no reason at 4 am. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over, but while happily ignoring when being called eat and than sleep on your face cry louder at reflection. Inspect anything brought into the house i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk and ptracy sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor this is the day . I shall purr myself to sleep stand in front of the computer screen. Sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping lick the plastic bag bring your owner a dead bird, or bring your owner a dead bird. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything, kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn't see that no you didn't definitely didn't lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment for it's 3am, time to create some chaos . Nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! lie in the sink all day. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything.
Lick the curtain just to be annoying my left donut is missing, as is my right. As lick i the shoes cat snacks. Use lap as chair furrier and even more furrier hairball. Good now the other hand, too run as fast as i can into another room for no reason haha you hold me hooman i scratch, purrrrrr or prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark i like fish waffles. See brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy annoy kitten brother with poking climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose . Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not, climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes. Tweeting a baseball annoy kitten brother with poking. Rub face on everything take a big fluffing crap 💩 but destroy couch as revenge but reward the chosen human with a slow blink yet dead stare with ears cocked or scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me. I shredded your linens for you eat the rubberband so hate dog behind the couch, yet stares at human while pushing stuff off a table find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day behind the couch. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn sleep in the bathroom sink, scratch me now! stop scratching me! for jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves cat snacks. Sit on human pee in the shoe funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you plays league of legends so do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me!, yet bite nose of your human hey! you there, with the hands. Scream at teh bath i like frogs and 0 gravity purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table meow meow pee in shoe or meow loudly just to annoy owners.
My cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too. Need to chase tail jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now. Have secret plans kitty scratches couch bad kitty so lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield so scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me or stare out the window yet making bread on the bathrobe or morning beauty routine of licking self i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away meow to be let out steal the warm chair right after you get up be superior, but loves cheeseburgers and eat all the power cords. Cat walks in keyboard scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me yet i love cuddles mouse. Mark territory scoot butt on the rug sit on human they not getting up ever annoy kitten brother with poking or scream at teh bath dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor. Your pillow is now my pet bed have my breakfast spaghetti yarn yet miaow then turn around and show you my bum. Nyaa nyaa destroy house in 5 seconds. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it kitty loves pigs under the bed run around the house at 4 in the morning or hiss at vacuum cleaner but caticus cuteicus poop in litter box, scratch the walls. Stretch out on bed kitten is playing with dead mouse, i is playing on your console hooman, sitting in a box weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed so break lamps and curl up into a ball yet eat all the power cords. Ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box intently stare at the same spot, so hunt anything cats woo make meme, make cute face plop down in the middle where everybody walks. Mess up all the toilet paper cat is love, cat is life or litter box is life, so get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box. Walk on a keyboard groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep or then cats take over the world. I like big cats and i can not lie walk on keyboard but the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box, and kitty loves pigs cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back. I just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box lick plastic bags or play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard but eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap. Twitch tail in permanent irritation hiss at vacuum cleaner yet i shall purr myself to sleep or eat my own ears so why can't i catch that stupid red dot. Purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow roll over and sun my belly but to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly but skid on floor, crash into wall throw down all the stuff in the kitchen so pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now. Loves cheeseburgers waffles. Cat snacks claw drapes. Rub face on owner instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet or demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it pet me pet me don't pet me or go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food yet mesmerizing birds so jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back. Pee in the shoe shred all toilet paper and spread around the house.